I guess, since I was in school, I guess I could narrow it down to maybe 3 things that I love to do most. 1.TALK. 2.WRITE 3.USE PAPER/SCISSORS TO CREATE . Each one of those things is the way that I EXPRESS MYSELF. Many times I fumble with my verbal words, I want to express so much to someone and fail miserably. I learned early on that I can write much better than I can talk. In fact, it's as if my FINGERS do the TALKING (not the WALKING! HAHA!).
I feel like I have this creek of words/thoughts bubbling up inside and I just have to get them out! When I was young and going to school, I readily admit that English was the only subject I halfway excelled in. All other subjects either: 1. bored me 2. I couldn't for the life of me fathom (MATH!)! I lived for writing classes or drama classes. i remember staring out the window in class and for the life of me, wanting to write down my thoughts only to be brought back to life by the teacher admonishing me to "listen, JAN!" Yes, I was a TERRIBLE student!!!! 
admit it!!! But, I often wonder, what would have happened if I had had someone who saw the potential in me for journaling clases or tapping into my strange creativity. It never happened....Fast forward to when all 5 "Small Frys" were young. We got one of the FIRST APPLE COMPUTERS back in the day! For me, (when I could get on it!), it was like a lifeline to sanity. I could sit for hours, after the kiddies were in bed, and write and write and WRITE. I made up stories. I wrote about the children. I wrote about my faith. I wrote about family. I wrote about my fears and my dreams. And at night, I dreamed of more I could write the next day! But, once up, it was take care of 5 kids/fix dinners/take kids to dance/baseball/soccer, etc. and my writing became harder to do as the children grew and needed more attention (and needed 
It went on hold, this desire of mine ,to write. But, the desire was always there, just waiting , like the buds of trees in Spring, to blossom. And, the ebbing feeling emerged again. Like a phoenix from the ashes, this tiny flame was there. Once again, I was thinking of writing, of putting my thoughts down. Let me say I didn't have the feelings to write to be published (well, maybe this TINY desire to! LOL)--- and certainly not to gain attention--but for one important reason 
me. To leave behind for my great-grandchildren one day this determination that they could "know" me. By my words and by my photographs. Together. Weaving a story. Weaving MY story. The " who I am" in this tapestry called life. To leave a part of me that maybe , one day, my great-great grandchildren could see if they were remotely anything like their great-grandmother~That I lived and breathed and had desires and dreams and joys and sadness....JUST LIKE THEM!
as she is getting more forgetful. But, I wonder, is there more? Is she wanting to also leave a part of herself for us to remember? I know I do! I can't sew (Lord, just ask my Home Ec teacher in high school!); I can't balance a check book (I "round off"!); I'm not a gourmet cook (although I consider myself a "good" cook!); I'm not an intelletual; I'm not much of anything special (except to God!) but what I AM is someone who love to express myself in words and photos. It's my LEGACY to leave behind. However flawed, however inept--it is still my words and my vision of life as I see it. So, in the future, I will be doing more of that. I realized tonight, after reading someone else's blog story, that is EXACTLY how I want to let my blog go. Sure, I'll be posting pix of my beautiful grandchildren!
I'll be posting pictures of our family and vacations. But, also I'll be writing some snippets from my heart. My own words seen from my vision in my heart. Bear with me, I'll be baring my soul at times. Life isn't always "a rose garden" and sometimes that "dirty laundry" has to be hung on the clothesline to be real and authentic. I am willing to be a "glass house" at times to remind myself not to throw stones....Come along with me on this "new to you" view of ME. For me, it's the OLD me, but for some of you, you'll see a NEW me. And you'll see (if you don't already!),that I am as flawed and imperfect as they come. Having said that, I was created by God, and I know, that I know, THAT I KNOW that I am supposed to be doing more writing and more reading and more learning and more sharing. Yessiree, I'm a "big talker". I love to talk. I love to giggle. I love to go on Facebook. I love to blog. I love to babysit my grandchildren. I love to worship. I love to sing. i love to plant. I love to pray.
I love to PRAISE. I love to eat. I love to be silly. I love to laugh. I love to stick my toes in the sand. I love to write short stories. I love to listen to my grandbabies talk. I love to smell cigars. I love the sound of waves breaking over the sand. I love to make pictures of anything and everything that means something to me. I love trying to create a story through pictures and words....YES, I love to do a LOT of things and I love to experience lots of things but I also know that all of that is fleeting and that I need to be more intent on things of substance that will propel myself into greater relationship with Christ as well as greater relationships with family and friends. (WOW, that was a LOOOONG sentence!).... So come along with me. Together we'll grow. I hope you'll share your thoughts with me. I want to do more than just blab on a blog. (altho, I admit, I do love me some BLABBING!).
I also want to share some of my world here as well as plant some treasure for others to dig up after I'm gone. Dig up TREASURE. Not me. Please, for goodness sakes, Let me R.I.P.! LOL! Let the BLABBING begin...!
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