Early summer musings

Has it really been since DECEMBER since I've blogged??? WHHHHHAT??? Me, the quintessential blogger? Well, guess I must fix that. HA! Time to get back to my blogging. My writing. My calling. I think one reason I put off blogging was b/c I have been in limbo , waiting to hear if  my WRITING would be published. I posted off a whole packet of my heart/soul in January to an editor. And , before you ask, NO, I haven't heard back. Well, SORT of. Still reviewing. But, no matter what the response, I'm not going to let that stop my writing. I can still write, even if it's not in book form! It's part of the call on my life. Plain and simple. I know it. I feel it. I live it....

I've written since before I COULD write. I wrote a "book" with pictures. My first un-published work. Wait a minute, except for an entry into a Methodist collection of stories, I'm STILL un-published. HA! Oh well, still, I write. I write and I write and I write. Just as much as I write, then I will have a season of NON writing. Where I spend time that I should be penning my thoughts, to doing other unproductive things. Like getting on FaceBook. Or shopping for something I think I must have. Or dreaming of the beach. Or an other million things that keep me away from the call I know I have. God has given me the gift of gab, no doubt. But, He has also gifted me with the gift of writing. I know that. I don't have many other gifts, if I do I haven't figured them out yet, but this one, well, I know I do. Whether it be for future "conversations" with my grandkids/greatgrands, I don't know. Maybe I want them to know me. Oh, they know me, all right. But do they REALLY know me?? GranJan who has it all together. NOT. GranJan who spoils them/loves them unconditionally and without judgement.YES. But, not perfect. Never perfect. I want them to know I struggle just as they do. Day to day struggles that , even as an old lady, come before me.  Struggles as a Christian. Struggles as a mom. Struggles as a woman. Struggles as a grandmother. Because struggles never leave us. At least they don't leave me! This GranJan who "has it all together". NOT times two. I want them to see me, not just as their old granny that is to be placated and given allowances because "she's old", that they too, can see that I still struggle with many issues they do! But, having struggles, pulls me right into God's lap squalling like, well, a 10 year old, many days.(*So, see, Kemp/Lily? I still act your age sometimes!)!  OK, the next part of this blog is for Kemp and Lily.  (now you see why I need an editor. I hop from thought to thought).....

Lily/Kemp will be starting middle school. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Because I can remember "middle school" age, too! SO clearly. Our "middle school" was from grade 1-8 so we were still in with everyone else, but I so remember the age 10. I liked dolls still. But I also thought my little boy friends (and they were friends!) were "cute" but it seemed suddenly those same boys didn't like girls anymore. (at least for the next few years!)!. Why, I would wonder?  I felt gangly. Yeah, that's the best description. I wasn't tall (never have been) but I felt "GANGLY". Awkward. Said inappropriate things. (um, yes, I know what you're thinking ...SHE STILL DOES). But, it wasn't so "cute" anymore when I said things like I did when I was 8 or so. People just seemed to tolerate age 10 and 11 year old kids. Younger kids were so much cuter and older kids were given a bit more respect. But, at 10 or 11, well, you're just in that "middle" ground. Trying to figure out WHO you are. WHAT you should do with your summer (that's a big deal when your 10 or 11!) and HOW to figure out whether you should still play dolls (some of my friends would act appalled when they would see them on my bed) or sort of like boys (which, at that point, they still ignored girls or hated them). Such a weird time in life. A time when I would say to Mimi (*yes, remember, Kemp and Lily, Mimi is my mother! And she was young then, like YOUR mother!). GranJan would say:  "I'm BORED! What can I do today?" and nothing she suggested sounded like anything at all what I wanted to do. But what DID I want to do??? I didn't know. Trips were pretty high on the agenda, and Grand-daddy and Mimi took me on many of them, but then there was the REST of the summer!!!!! Geez! A long glorious summer ahead but again, the question: WHAT CAN  I DO TODAY??????   

An open letter  to my 10-almost 11 year old grands: KEMP AND LILY.....ENJOY YOUR SUMMER. Don't worry about always having to be DOING something.  Be a kid. Don't worry about growing up so fast. Lily, if you want to play dolls--PLAY DOLLS. Kemp, if you want to play with matchbox cars--PLAY WITH MATCHBOX CARS. It's ok!!!!!! You don't have to do whatever all the other kids do. Be yourself. Don't worry what everyone else is thinking. (they probably think you are pretty darn cool!). Be KIND. Your friends you make now might be your friends when you're as old as GranJan!!! !(yes, I still have good friends that I had when I was your age!)! Don't spend all summer on the computer (this is a sermon here), or texting or playing computer games. I want you to enjoy hanging outside eating popsicles/going barefoot (watch out for snakes and nails, tho!) and giggle a lot. Hey, this sounds corny but something I used to do with my neighborhood friends. Get your moms to save an old pasta jar / rinse it out/poke holes in the top. Now, go look for "Lightening BUGS" (I think yall call them "Fireflies" now). Put them in a jar and be amazed. These are NOT L.E.D.'s. These are created from GOD! How cool is that??????????????? Watch them fly around and light up the warm summer nights while eating popsicles and running around. It's like THE coolest thing ever. A little gift from God to 10 and 11 year olds!!!!!!!!! I promise you will love it. It will make you realize that God is all around you. Buzzing with light and giving you such awesome surprises. I think God made FIREFLIES just for your age! To remind you of Him. Yep, that's GranJan's first sermon  of the summer.....So, FRYday night, kick off your shoes---run gather up the neighborhood kids and tell them this awesome story your old grandmother told you. You'll be amazed at the fun you'll have. And let me know what happens.....
OH HOW I  Love YOU, my precious ones. God does too. He's in the glowing of the fireflies and in the glowing you're feeling towards Him in your heart. Listen/look and watch this summer. And, then, when you're REALLY bored and want something to do--- come over and sit on the porch swing  with me (I know you STILL like for me to take you "to the moon and back" as we swing) and tell me all about the good things happening in your life this summer. Cause good things are coming!